No idea if anyone cared about where those icons came from, but I really like them so I was extremely curious who made them.

First, mention Borat. If the article is about some problem or something that seems funny then refer to Kazakhstan as “Boratland”, “the home of Borat”, or “Boratistan”. Otherwise, if the article is about say Presidential elections or an oil deal or just listing some economic indicators, just mention Borat and the fact that everyone knows Kazakhstan only because of Sascha Baron Cohen’s character. For extra points mention that the Kazakh government was opposed to Borat originally but that in fact the movie has increased interest in the country.

Always refer to the president as “strongman”, “tyrannical” or “authoritarian.” Invoke colorful cliches like “ruling over”, “keeping an iron fist over”, and “controlling” to describe Nazarbayev.

On the other hand, if you have ever been paid by an oil company or any branch of the government or work for a lobbying firm independent think tank, be sure to explain how there are no problems in Kazakhstan and anything that seems bad here is actually much worse in other Central Asian nations and therefore not a problem here at all. For example if you are reporting on alleged human rights abuses, mention that Karimov once ordered people boiled alive in oil, so everything in Kazakhstan is super duper a ok.

Mention that the country prides itself on being an ethnically and religiously tolerant country and then look for any signs of ethnic or religious unrest you can find. Even if it’s just some Russian on the street who says he doesn’t want to learn the Kazakh language. Or a grandfather who says he only speaks Kazakh. Imply that the government has failed to create any kind of harmony and do not go into any of the nuances or inherent difficulties in creating a peaceful multicultural society. Make sure to mention but then completely ignore exotic ethnic groups like Uighurs, Kalmyks and Djungars and their interests. Feel free to make up any number you want in terms of how many ethnic groups live here–don’t site any reports or source. 117 seems to be a popular number. Go with that.

If you are a normal Western journalist, be sure to mention that powerful clans do exist here, but not as much as in other Central Asian countries, but still they do exist here, but it’s not so bad, but it could it be bad here maybe, but right now everything is fine, but you never really know. Instead mention teams. Or that certain people are connected to other people. Report any rumors about political connections or government intrigue you hear as if they were 100% valid and true. When in doubt, just mention again that the President tightly controls everything.

Remember Astana is “futuristic” and Almaty is “more metropolitan”. Both are cities of striking contrasts between the haves and the have nots, or the rich and the poor, or the new generation and the post-Soviet generation.

Feel free to use Kazakh and Kazakhstan interchangably. There is only one culture here. If you are referring to anyone who is not Kazakh or Russian, make sure to mention that many people of their ethnicity were brought here forcibly by Stalin and now most have left. Make sure to give the impression that people are running away from Kazakhstan as fast as possible. Feel free to refer to anything from Kazakh, Russian or Soviet culture as “Kazakh”. But also feel free in the same article to mention the foreignness of Soviet culture as it was imposed on Kazakhs.

When you mention Russia in the context of Kazakhstan remember that they are evil and only want to recreate the Soviet Union. Everything Russia does is bad for the US and the West and for Kazakhstan. Especially when it’s Putin.

I’m sure I left a lot out. I just tried to hit my personal pet peeves. Of course the issue is that there’s a lot of oversimplification of the machinations of this region and everyone wants to seem to be “in the know”. So a lot of cliches get tossed around and a lot of rumors are repeated. Feel free to add more ideas in the comments or take up issue with what I wrote here.

Taking this time to look at my most popular posts, I am amazed to see that Fut-Fut-Fut-freestailo is the most popular post of all time on kzblog.net. Perhaps Freestailo will eventually replace Borat as the person everyone thinks of when they think of Kazakhstan.

Contador Stays, Name Goes is the next most popular post, so I guess Team Astana and cycling are also becoming pretty well entwined with Kazakhstan’s brand image which is good news.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Kazakhstan Imports Hottie is the fifth most popular post, but I was interested that apparently people want to know who I am. The tenth most popular post of all time is my About Me page.

And I’m glad people are looking at the Tourism page but I wish more people would leave comments and information there. Especially, now that the weather is warm, where is a good place to go out of Astana and grill shashlik for the day? I really want to do that but I don’t know where to go.

As always corrections, comments, notes always appreciated.

Ойға да шыққан бүлдірген!
Қырға да өскен бүлдірген!
Айналайын қыздар-ау!
Қадіріңді кім білген!
Оқа-оқа уей!
Сүйесің бе?
Бәрін тастап, сен маған тиесің бе?

Strawberries emerge even on the steppes
Starwberries grow even on the steppes
Darling women
Who could know your merits?
Opa-opa iyee
Do you love me?
Will you quit everything to marry me?

Not great poetry, but not completely meaningless.

Borat’s Repentance Part I
Borat’s Repentance Part II
Borat’s Repentance Part III

The film is pretty well made even though the quality on You Tube is a bit low. The two main actors are great (Where did they find Americans?). Parts of the film feel a bit like a propaganda piece, showing off that Kazakhstan is very developed and featuring a stupid naive American. It is also pretty clearly an advertisement for Kuralai, a Kazakh designer, c.f. this event. But it does a pretty good job of mixing the jokes and the pro-Kazakhstan propaganda. And there are a few shots at Kazakhstan’s lack of development too. And it does hit on some of the rudeness one encounters here with our poor heroes being kicked out of stores, attacked by rabid children and ripped off by taxi drivers!

That being said, I think it’s good for Kazakhstan that filmmakers have the resources to make products and get them seen without having to go through official channels because frankly there aren’t a lot of movie production companies here or financial resources. So low-budget, self-produced is definitely the way to go and hopefully kzscreenwriter and others can find a way to make money at this. It just might bring about a renaissance of Kazakh films.

By the way, if kzscreenwriter is reading this, or any other film makers in Kazakhstan are interested, email me or leave a comment. I’d love to do interviews with you and/or publish something about film making in Kazakhstan.

Wladimir Klitschko, 220 pounds and 6 foot 6 inches tall (3 inches taller than Mr. Cohen), was born in Kazakhstan although he now lives in the Ukraine. When he spotted Borat and his wife, Isla Fischer, dining in the same LA restaurant, Mr. Klitschko decided to have a little fun. According to The Daily Star, Klitschko said:

“As he walked past me I turned to face him and said, ‘Hey, I think you are an arsehole for what you said about Kazakhstan’.
“Unbelievably, he started to defend himself – but before he could continue I stood up and was towering over him.
“I said, ‘I have broken people’s necks for less than what you have done’.
“He looked frightened – like he had picked a fight with the wrong man. And then I owned up and told him I really think his Borat character is amazing.
“He looked pretty relieved!”

US Senator Trent Lott of Mississippi announced Monday that he will retire from the Senate after a long career. Analysts think the Governor may choose Mississippi Representative Chip Pickering as Lott’s replacement until the election which will be on Nov. 4th 2008. If Pickering decides to run, then the big question will clearly be his role in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. No, he wasn’t seen in Washington answering stupid questions presented by the most famous journalist in Kazakhstan. He was caught on film in a Pentecostal revival attended by Borat where he was cheered by the crowd as he swore to love Christ forever. The Chief Justice of the Mississippi Supreme Court and according to the Huffington Post, so was Representative Pickering.

In all serious I don’t see this scene causing Pickering too many problems, but it is amazing how Cohen manages to insert himself into the news!

Although I still believe the main point of the film is to shame Americans with their own inherent ignorance and racism, and to revel in toilet humor, there were some major insults to the Kazakh nation:

• Several scenes showed Borat on the bed with his shoes and suit on. No citizen of Kazakhstan would dream of leaving his dirty shoes on inside, let alone putting that filth on the bed. It would be much more typical to take off your dirty outside clothes too before touching the bed.
• Not once did Borat drink tea. Not one time. He never even said, “Boy, I have a headache because I didn’t have tea this morning.” Real Kazakhs love their tea!
• When he went to visit various people, he never brought any presents. A good Kazakh will always bring at least some flowers and chocolate, especially when invited for dinner. The implication that Kazakhs are bad guests is truly an insult to the nation.
• Finally, the implication that Kazakhstan TV doesn’t get all the trashiest of American TV is totally false. Why, I’ve seen Baywatch Hawaii on regular broadcast TV! Surely all Kazakhs know exactly who Pamela Anderson is.

So you, the future leaders of Kazakhstan reading this blog–do you really want your inbox to be filled up with requests to recognize Benny Hill as the leader of the UK and Mr. Bean as the foreign minister? Or perhaps petitions that food in the stolovayas isn’t as good as it used to be? And so on? I didn’t think so. I’m telling you: you don’t need the internet.

Roberts points out that the article was produced by a consulting company that specializes in nation-branding, East-West Communications. For more on nation branding, see Diplomatic Traffic but it is what it sounds like, treating a nation as brand name that must be promoted, preserved, manipulated. Lest you laugh, let me point out that “PR” and “imeidge” are slipping into the local Kazakhstani newspapers, bulletin boards, and mailing lists and as people discuss Borat, Nomad and the President’s trips here and there. There was a wonderful commercial on Khabar television showing a student giving his graduation speech (in English!) and everyone cheering as he flies into the air. Then the screen flashes up the message that Education is a key part of increasing the economic competitiveness of the nation. Even students are apparently supposed to put the ranking of the nation in the WEF report first!

Overall, the Kazakhstan public seems happy with the idea that Kazakhstan is a brand-name. Roberts discusses the idea of nation as corporation versus ideology (and Borat as marketing!). But it reminded me to post something I’ve been waiting to see in the newspapers:

Kazakhstan is starting to get wind that their full-page ads and TV spots are being viewed with skepticism, mocked and even backfiring. CF the Gawker’s post–lost to the bookmark demons–that Kazakhstan sounds wonderful with its giant skating rink, shrinking Aral sea, and polluted polygon! In America as soon as we see those lines and the words at the top ‘Paid Advertisement’, we read with a grain of salt. When we then see at the bottom ‘Produced by East-West Communications’ we skip to the funnies. One can’t blame the government for not being hip to this sooner; in Kazakhstan, paid articles are very common and are not demarcated as such (Not that Kazakhstany can’t spot a blatantly self-interested or biased article when they see one mind!).

To solve this problem, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is planning to hire an International Journalism Board (the actual name escapes me) of well-known and trusted Western journalists to write articles. So even though the articles may still go in the paid advertisement section, it will have a good name attached to it. They will also be written in a natural style, not like ad-copy and they will presumably mix some bad 9or at least some mediocre) with the good. I don’t know who they will get, but the project is underway, and I would like to publicly announce my availability. With several years experience on my college newspaper and several years blogging under my belt, I think I am just the person to write entertaining, flattering stealth ads for the government. If the pay is good.