According to a Member of the Kazakhstan Parliament, the document read:

Signed for the Republic of Belarus – Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko, for the Republic of Kazakhstan – President of Kazakhstan Nursultan Nazarbayev, for the Russian Federation – President of Belarus Vladimir Putin

Given the tension between Russia and Belarus in recent years, one wonders if this was an honest mistake, a bit of satire, or a jab at both countries.

Those of us who live in Astana and have friends who work for the government will also suspect that the people who physically drafted, typed, printed and delivered these documents were forced to work overnight several nights in a row. So perhaps this is a call to ensure that the government gives its workers reasonable hours!

According to the report, Nadezhda Gerasimova, deputy chairperson of the Duma, believes that the best way to keep peace in the Central Asian region is 1) the presence and consolidation of international organizations that Russia participates in, 2) more Russian investment, 3) the protection of Russian citizens above all, and 4) excluding third parties.

Alexei Ostrovskiy, chairperson of the Committee for CIS affairs, believes the situation is “extremely alarming” as the population of Central Asia is growing fast, tribal relations are strong, and many people live in poverty. Only the opportunity to send labor migrants to Russia has prevented a “social explosion”. Russia’s strategy should be to exploit the “part of the political elite in the region [which] is pro-Russian”.

Other members pointed to the need for cooperation with the US, the EU and other countries and organizations active in the region to prevent serious conflicts and raise the living standards of the population of Central Asia.

On the other hand, if Kazakhstan builds up its education and training and there are enough skilled workers for all the tech jobs necessary to run a cosmodrome, this might be good news as Kazakhstan takes control of the infrastructure in its own territory instead of handing it over to a foreign power.

Hope this ends soon.

Interesting that they provide an English-language translation of his feed, suggesting that either the feed is more for foreigners or that he wishes to appear hip and cool by speaking English. Also interesting since not long ago, an opposition candidate for the Russian Presidency was berated by Putin for making statements English, proving that he worked for Western forces. (I note that the Russian feed is updated faster).

Some commentators are saying that Medvedev’s willingness to write in Kazakh provides a sort of reassurance that Russia recognizes Kazakhstan as an independent country and an independent people, not as an ex-Soviet state that got away. And others say this will provide a good example for those who want Kazakhstani to speak Kazakh. If Medvedev can do it, anyone can!

It has taken me a few days to confirm this, but any one planning to adopt a child from Kazakhstan should be aware that there is an unofficial policy to give foreigners only children that are disabled in some way. I have confirmed this with a friend who works in the government. The idea is that such children will have a better life in the West than they will in Kazakhstan. This attitude is not uncommon in the former USSR either. So know that there is a good chance that if you are adopting a kid from Kazakhstan, he or she is mentally or physically handicapped.

Hopefully of course, orphanages and agencies are 100% honest and forthcoming if they are proposing to let someone adopt a disabled child, but forewarned is forearmed.

First, mention Borat. If the article is about some problem or something that seems funny then refer to Kazakhstan as “Boratland”, “the home of Borat”, or “Boratistan”. Otherwise, if the article is about say Presidential elections or an oil deal or just listing some economic indicators, just mention Borat and the fact that everyone knows Kazakhstan only because of Sascha Baron Cohen’s character. For extra points mention that the Kazakh government was opposed to Borat originally but that in fact the movie has increased interest in the country.

Always refer to the president as “strongman”, “tyrannical” or “authoritarian.” Invoke colorful cliches like “ruling over”, “keeping an iron fist over”, and “controlling” to describe Nazarbayev.

On the other hand, if you have ever been paid by an oil company or any branch of the government or work for a lobbying firm independent think tank, be sure to explain how there are no problems in Kazakhstan and anything that seems bad here is actually much worse in other Central Asian nations and therefore not a problem here at all. For example if you are reporting on alleged human rights abuses, mention that Karimov once ordered people boiled alive in oil, so everything in Kazakhstan is super duper a ok.

Mention that the country prides itself on being an ethnically and religiously tolerant country and then look for any signs of ethnic or religious unrest you can find. Even if it’s just some Russian on the street who says he doesn’t want to learn the Kazakh language. Or a grandfather who says he only speaks Kazakh. Imply that the government has failed to create any kind of harmony and do not go into any of the nuances or inherent difficulties in creating a peaceful multicultural society. Make sure to mention but then completely ignore exotic ethnic groups like Uighurs, Kalmyks and Djungars and their interests. Feel free to make up any number you want in terms of how many ethnic groups live here–don’t site any reports or source. 117 seems to be a popular number. Go with that.

If you are a normal Western journalist, be sure to mention that powerful clans do exist here, but not as much as in other Central Asian countries, but still they do exist here, but it’s not so bad, but it could it be bad here maybe, but right now everything is fine, but you never really know. Instead mention teams. Or that certain people are connected to other people. Report any rumors about political connections or government intrigue you hear as if they were 100% valid and true. When in doubt, just mention again that the President tightly controls everything.

Remember Astana is “futuristic” and Almaty is “more metropolitan”. Both are cities of striking contrasts between the haves and the have nots, or the rich and the poor, or the new generation and the post-Soviet generation.

Feel free to use Kazakh and Kazakhstan interchangably. There is only one culture here. If you are referring to anyone who is not Kazakh or Russian, make sure to mention that many people of their ethnicity were brought here forcibly by Stalin and now most have left. Make sure to give the impression that people are running away from Kazakhstan as fast as possible. Feel free to refer to anything from Kazakh, Russian or Soviet culture as “Kazakh”. But also feel free in the same article to mention the foreignness of Soviet culture as it was imposed on Kazakhs.

When you mention Russia in the context of Kazakhstan remember that they are evil and only want to recreate the Soviet Union. Everything Russia does is bad for the US and the West and for Kazakhstan. Especially when it’s Putin.

I’m sure I left a lot out. I just tried to hit my personal pet peeves. Of course the issue is that there’s a lot of oversimplification of the machinations of this region and everyone wants to seem to be “in the know”. So a lot of cliches get tossed around and a lot of rumors are repeated. Feel free to add more ideas in the comments or take up issue with what I wrote here.

It’s also a bit of a wake-up call on how much China is involved in Kazakh oil, for those who worry about such things. Interesting to note that in the comments on the WSJ article, many Russians post what appear to be copy-and-paste warnings to Kazakhs that the Chinese will take them over. Quick history lesson: Which country has ever taken over Kazakhstan? Russia or China? I don’t want to get into the midst of this because I have seen people in Kazakhstan get quite violent discussing why China is a serious danger to their national sovereignty. I would be more worried about whether or not oil money is being redirected for the good of the people, whether that money comes from China, Russia, the US or Fiji!

The New Yorker has a great story about his life and the politics of mathematics, along the way explaining this Poincare proof and its significance. It’s a great read whether you know anything about math or not.